#19 Pyaaz Bytes: A Blessed Thing

Heyo People,

After a long hiatus, here I am again, wanting again to rant about my life. I decided to write today because I like writing better than speaking (yes, I am the text over calls person most times) and no one listens to my shit anyways, so I hope someone might read it.

I woke up at 7:45 am today, which is 3 hours prior to my usual waking up time. This miracle happened because I woke up at 6:30 am yesterday after being coaxed by a friend to go for a run, hence I slept at 12, which is 3 hours prior to my usual dozing off time. I was supposed to wake up at 6 again, but I lazed around because my friend did not call me, so lack of extrinsic motivation, and also, I am me, so lack of intrinsic motivation. I finally motivated myself to wake up and workout a little because my legs were already aching and taking too much rest would not help. Also, I really want to be fit and healthy because that is how humans are supposed to be and I am not feeling good about my physical health right now. I have also gained a lot of weight which is now showing on my body, which I do not really mind as I still love how I look and I do look awesome, but my clothes do not fit me anymore and some of them are expensive. So I need to drop off that belly fat.

After waking up and wasting 10 mins checking social media, same way I did above by digressing from the point, I put on some music and went to brush my teeth. While looking at myself in the mirror, I felt so blessed. I felt blessed for being able to live alone and having the freedom to listen to music out loud and groove to it while brushing my teeth. Yes, this simple thing made me feel happy. Then I did start thinking about work and ten other stressors which plague my life, but despite all that, I did have the moment, which made me happy. I sensed a strong appreciation for my mind and soul because even after so much recent mental and emotional turmoil, it can still conjure the good things in my life which truly over power the bad ones and make even the difficult events feel like a blessing. Or maybe it is just a result of sleeping for more than 4 hours after a month. Who knows. 😛

I then did some jumping jacks and started to fall asleep while doing crunches, so I did a 10 minute zumba for which I was checking the time every 2 minutes because my stamina dips faster than the logical arguments of bhakts (wait, that’s not possible, they have no logic), followed by a 10 minute guided meditation audio, during which I thought about blogging because the audio was asking me to be in the present and I LISTEN TO NO MAN! 😛

Drinking my hot water with honey and ginger right now along with eating seeds, while realizing that it is already 10 am and these activities should be done 2 hours earlier. Better late than never though.

Here’s hoping for more good things to happen today and a better tomorrow.

Cheers.

#13 Pyaaz Bytes: A Tryst with Nothingness and Hope

Today is one of those days when I got nothing to write about. Nothing. Zippo. Nada. So I will write about having nothing to write about cause it’s my blog and I can. The only place where I have free will or the illusion of it. One can never know.

I was planning to not write tonight. Again. Yet my heart just said that I had to, otherwise I will break my promise to myself. If anyone is reading this, apologies for the tardiness today.

I got asked the worst question ever today. That too twice. No, it was not “When are you getting married you are so old I don’t have a life haha”. It was- ” What are your future plans for your career? Where will you shift after your current job?”

Fortunately, the questions were asked by my friends, so I just shut them up by saying- “Don’t ask me these HR questions.” and attempted to fake laugh to not sound rude.

In my mind, I was blank. Both the times. Nothing. Nada. I have no clue. I used to think that I had a clue. I used to think about my career path and how I will navigate it. But now, I do not know if I even want to do those things, or if I am capable of doing those things. The fear of uncertainty gripped me in the entirety and I spiraled into a mild existential crisis. I say ‘mild’ here because I have had worse ones.

I wonder if I will always be like this, or things will improve with age as I will be more sure about it, though I do not see any super-confident and content adults around me. It makes me wonder if I have the chance of ever being sure of myself. It is funny how there are numerous Ted Talks on “Finding your Passion” and then numerous others on “It is all Hoax”. I find both bullshit.

Maybe it is because life is different for each person and the only thing common is hope. There can never be black and white. It is a rainbow with multiple shades and palettes, some of which cannot even be labelled.

I am probably off-brown as I am brown and something is always off about me. I don’t know if I make sense here. I don’t care about it. I am happy to live under the illusion of free-will over my blog. Do not dare to touch it.

I went from nothing to 434 words. Writing is truly an enriching activity.

Here’s to 434 words of Day 13. Cheers!

Book Musing: The Actor’s Life- A Survival Guide

I believe that a person’s perspective comprises of several layers and they view the world around them through these layers. A good book helps enhance our perspective by adding more layers, like compassion and knowledge, to our vision, which this book, ‘The Actor’s Life – A Survival Guide’, has definitely done for me.

I chanced upon this book, not because I have any talent to be an actor, but right after I had finished The Office (extremely late in life, I know) and began appreciating Jenna Fischer who plays Pam on the show. I started listening to ‘The Office Ladies’, a podcast based on The Office by Fischer and fellow actor Angela Kinsey who plays Angela on the show (love her character, as well) where I learnt about this book written by Fischer. I looked it up online out of curiosity and thought of giving it a try since it seemed like a light-hearted read and my brain, which was at a ‘readers’ block’ really needed a nudge. Also, I was curious about The Office trivia (one cannot get enough of it) and Hollywood.

When I began reading it, I got what I had expected – a light-hearted read. As I flipped through the chapters, I got hooked. It was simply amazing, literally, it was simple and amazing.

Being someone who seriously the self-proclaimed ‘self-help books’, I can vouch, ‘The Actor’s Life’ is a book which will help everyone, not just actors, and the best part is that it does it with subtlety. The book is actually what the title claims – A practical guide to direct and motivate aspiring actors in the USA. However, if you read carefully, it is so much more.

In the book, Fischer talks about her experiences about when she decided to become an actor. She narrates her ordeals and triumphs after she arrived at Los Angeles, how she got her big break as Pam after six years of struggle. Mind you, it is not only about the struggling and fretting. Jenna talks about the life experiences and processes an actor has to go through at LA, meanwhile, giving tips and hacks about important things such as getting a cover-shot, an agent, etc. It also talks about career options for actors based in Chicago and New York. She mentions back stories of other actors, how many of them got a break after ten years of struggle or even more.

The book has many lessons for aspiring actors which could apply to everyone.

One of the great lessons is that one can be highly talented but that alone will gain no fruit if one does not adapt to the circumstances they are in.

For example, you might be a great actor after a week of practice but auditions at Hollywood only give a few minutes to practice before the screening process and you have to grasp the opportunity.

Another piece of golden advice is that one should keep learning.

Even after you might have graduated from a top institute, you have to learn new things if your profession demands it and there is no shame in taking classes again or honing a skill.

The best lesson from the book is that for many people, success is not linear. It is not as if one gets a big hit and then it is ‘happily ever after’.

Some actors narrated how after a big-hit, they did not get any substantial role for thirty years. Although Jenna’s narrative is about the profession of acting, it was very inspirational for me as we need to learn and grow in every profession and not just give up on our dreams, whatever they might be.

The book also taught me that we should not make our career the sole source of contentment.

Instead, we should have something outside of it such as volunteering, taking up a hobby or anything which does not hinder our dream but helps us relax and be creative. The book also talks about a lot of other actors who have created their own work, who write, direct, design costumes and do many more things than just act. It really made me think about my career from another perspective and how I can also do a lot of things and expand my horizon.

The book taught be to be kind to one’s fellow colleagues and others in the same profession. We do not need to be “rivals” and disparage each other to succeed. Kindness begets kindness. Jealousy and sabotage  helps no one. So next time if you see someone succeed “more” than you, go and talk to them. Befriend them and learn from them. You might never know what great things you can achieve in the long run.

The book enhanced my perspective about the profession of acting as a whole and instilled a lot of respect for actors, be it movies, television series, web series, theater…..anything.

I have started noticing actors in guest roles, small supporting roles and even extras, which I never did earlier. I started looking up their names and could not help but wonder about the career trajectory of all of them whenever I see them on screen. I have even started to read more about the lead actors and how they have risen to their position. I am currently in awe of Dan Levy who writes, produces, directs, designs costumes and acts in the hilarious show ‘Schitt’s Creek’. I also got reminded of the movie ‘Kamyaab’ starring Sanjay Mishra and how every role is valuable.

The most important lesson that the book taught me is that one does not have to be at the top to be successful.

Just like one does not have to be an Academy award winning actor to be a successful working actor, one does not have to be a CEO or at the top of the hierarchy to be successful in any profession.

The only thing that matters is that you get to do what you want to do and that makes you feel good.

Movie Musing : Bohemian Rhapsody

It has been 3 hours since I got out of the movie theatre after watching Bohemia Rhapsody, and I cannot get over it. The sound, feel and characters of the movie are still lingering around me, both inside and outside of my mind. It feels like a beautiful hangover, which is tingling me, giving me goosebumps.
For the first time in my life, I took myself out to the movies alone. I do not feel it is a big deal but it was a first anyway. Moreover, my friends here do not listen to Queen ( poor unfortunate souls) and a non-fan would really not enjoy the movie. Fortunately, I was not alone in the theatre. There were 50 other fans with me and we were all singing, clapping, rejoicing and crying together. It was one of the best theatre crowds ever.
Although I am a fan, I did not have much knowledge about Mercury and his antics. When I had first listened to Bohemian Rhapsody 2 years ago (yes, I am a late bloomer, but anyway), the first thought that came to my mind was that Freddie Mercury is a genius. You have to be a genius to write such an eccentrically beautiful song. Fortunately, the movie showed it to me and how! One cannot be a “regular” person to create such a legacy. He named the band Queen because it had no meaning. Bohemian Rhapsody had random words to create a mystery, which made the song more famous. Poetry cannot be loved if everything is explained.
The most astounding feature of his character was his confidence, and that is what made him. He was confident about his bucked teeth, queer sense of style, which brought about a revolution in the industry. Who would have imagined a group of boys to be bold enough to cross-dress for the video “I want to Break Free” in the 80s. He taught me that if you are confident about what you are doing, no matter however you look or talk, no one can take it away from you.
Freddie’s urge to be accepted was a major theme of the movie and it did touch many chords in me. I won’t state the reasons here (I also am unaware of most of them), but I have had troubles being accepted by my peers and the people around me, I guess I still do. Most of it is psychological too, just like in the case of Freddie. The songs he wrote for us misfits were something which helped a lot of us. “A band of misfits for the misfits.” It truly was.
So beautiful it is when you realize the origin of your favorite songs. What pain and pleasure the artists went through to produce such beauty. I could not help but wonder about Linkin Park and Chester Bennington. The resonating lyrics of each song, the pain in his voice, and the suicide.
The most beautiful part of the movie was love. The love between Mary and Freddie because of the belief they had in each other, despite Freddie being gay. The love among the band members and their belief in each other. Even though Freddie went out of control and left the band, they loved and revered him, and eventually got back together. They truly believed he was a legend, he still is.
Even though the movie was Freddie’s biopic, it did not let the other band members go unnoticed. It showed the contribution of each and every member, without whom it would not have been Queen.
The Live-aid concert, in the end, was beauty, and it brought tears to my eyes, not only because the songs were beautiful, but because of Freddie’s passion which reflected completely in his performance. He was immersed in the performance so beautifully that he forgot all his fears, and you could feel it too.
In spite of all the negative publicity that Freddie and the band received, the people loved him and will always remember him, not because he was queer, but because of his passion for music and the masterpieces which the band created together. He will forever be known what he believed he was born for- music.