There are times when you are angry at so many things at once, that you cannot really say what is making you angry. You feel that you are just angry for no reason. Today is that day for me.
These kind of days are not a rarity for me. They often come out of the blue, or so I think, and go as per their wish. When it came today, I just blamed it on hormones, like always, even though my periods are weeks away. So I decided to think about the reasons for my anger as I write. Please bear with me, if you wish. #consentismandatory
I am angry because I had a very disturbed sleep last night. Technically it’s today morning as I slept at 3:30 am and woke up at 11. My sleep was getting frequently broken and I have been feeling drowsy and cranky since I woke up.
I am angry because I am slacking and I did not write my blog last night. In my defense, I was busy making a “This or That” challenge video with my cousin sister and it took 3 hours to make and edit a 30 second reel. And people think making videos is easy. The sad part is that the video did not garner as many views as I expected and I am unable to think to any new ideas to make a good video. All this made me angrier. Hmph!
I am angry because I watched a video by Swaddle today about how women who are out of their houses after dark for work or anything are considered as “bad women” and they are blamed if they are harassed and raped my men. The “Akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai” shit being propagated since centuries.
We, the human species, are so stupid that we have believed this logically flawed argument since centuries and that too universally. I mean, women are not safe even in their own homes. Sexual harassment by family members is such a common occurrence. Why is the onus on being safe is on women and not on the men who harass them? Women with short clothes, women at night, women with a boy, women with anyone wearing anything and doing anything are unsafe everywhere. Should all women just not exist? We have been suppressing half the population of the world with these illogical arguments since times immemorial and still such little conversation and action is happening to change discourse.
I got a few DMs due to my comment on the video. The ones by a few girls were quite encouraging. One guy blamed it on education and environment and said that just telling men won’t solve anything. He was right. It would not solve anything. But does that mean we keep blaming women and not put the onus of sexual harassment on men? Hell No!!
Environment is not some alien thing on which we do not have control. We make the environment and the environment is patriarchal which leads to toxic masculinity and suppression of women. He also said that men who rape are not from good backgrounds and are mentally unstable. That argument is heavily flawed. The so called “elite” and “educated” people also rape and harass women. There are several incidents of sexual harassment in academia by PhD supervisors and professors.
Moreover, rape is the ultimate form of violence which is done to show power over women. There are so many other forms of oppression such as eve teasing, slut shaming, not allowing freedom to women in household, marital rape, not allowing girls to work or study, not allowing them to go out at night “for their own safety”. Marital rape is not even a crime in India.
I personally have lost so many opportunities in life because I cannot go outside late at night, I cannot go to some places alone, or I cannot do a particular kind of work because it might not be safe. I spend extra money to find “safe” hotels and transportation when I travel, while a lot of my male friends simply hitchhike and stay wherever they want.
My parents do not let me do a lot of things because “it is unsafe”. Yes, it is unsafe. It is unsafe because of the men who have made it unsafe. My suffering because of them is what patriarchy wants and its not my fault. It is unfair and screwed up and it makes me angry almost every single day of my life.
I was about to make a joke here that I am ranting, but it is not a rant. It is the reality which many women face and feel angry about it. If they do not feel angry about it, they should and channelize the anger towards the cause of freedom.
Yes, freedom because women are not free, and the sole reason is patriarchy. Yes, women are patriarchal too. If men had not lured women into patriarchy, it would not have existed. It is high time we recognize the hell-hole we have created and do something about it, even if it is radical because the problem is not getting solved.
I feel as if the root cause of racism, sexism and casteism is similar. I am not saying that the three problems are same and there is intersectionality, but the root cause is suppression of the supposed “weaker” sections. Who originated this shit of sexism? I have no clue. I would really like to know the history though.
So, these are the major reasons which have made me angry today. Patriarchy makes me angry everyday though. It should make us all angry. Feminism for me is being able to walk on the streets at night or any time without feeling scared.
I thought writing about it would calm me down but I am more triggered than ever lol. I will just listen to O Sanam by Lucky Ali for the tenth time today and eat Kurkure.
Here’s to 1011 words of Day 14. Cheers!
And fuck Patriarchy. Or fart on it.
OnionMusings 