#6 Pyaaz Bytes: Wives, Anxiety, etc.

Hello Scrollers,

This is one of those days, which are very frequent in my case, when I do not “feel like doing anything.”

I struggled to get out of bed in the morning, even though I was awake. I finally woke up at 8:45 am , which was one and a half hour later than my expected timing.

I did exercise. I tried light Zumba tutorial on Youtube and danced for 15 minutes, along with stretching. I practiced my piano in the evening, though I got disturbed by a guest. Honestly, I was unable to play properly as I am finding western music difficult, which is dissuading me from practicing. I also want to enjoy playing and that is not happening now, which is making me upset. Yet, I feel that I need to learn to play well, and that will require practice. Ugh!! Why is life like this…..

I also worked today. I had a chat with an important person working on watershed. I do not know if it nervousness or the fact that I had not eaten properly since morning, but my body was a little shaky while talking to him. I was feeling very anxious. I have noticed that I feel anxiety sometimes when my blood sugar level is low. It might be a mix of both, I do not know.

I am feeling quite low today. I have various things on my mind. I am afraid of breaking my self promises. I am forcing myself a lot to keep up with them and this is only the 5^th day. I do not know what to do. I am also PMSing, so that is also there. But it’s not that these things do not happen to me at other times. They do. I have my phases in a cyclical manner the entire month, but I am unable to predict them.

I watched Zindagi Gulzar Hai today also. I am finding it funny but also boring as the scenes are very dragged. Yet I do not feel like watching anything else. *sobs*

I finished watching the “Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives”. Yes, I watch these shit shows because FOMO. I think these types of shows are made for us to watch, cringe, explode on twitter and also feel a little jealous of the inequality.

I had the same expectation from the show as I had with Indian Matchmaking, but I was disappointed as this show was worse. I mean, it was badly scripted and way too fake. People in India do not recognize Neelam Kothari anymore, I do not understand how a person in Doha recognized and stalked her. Lol. It was very bad. At least Indian Matchmaking had some realistic characters. This show had none. Everybody was acting and that too very badly as this show comprised of bad out of work actors. Sometimes I feel that Kekda Ranaut was right about Karan Johar.

I was just thinking that I need to get over my phone and Instagram addiction, and I began scrolling Instagram. I want to cry.

This post feels like the worst post until now. I hate it.

Here’s to 528 words of a shitty Day 6. Cheers!

Book Musing: The Actor’s Life- A Survival Guide

I believe that a person’s perspective comprises of several layers and they view the world around them through these layers. A good book helps enhance our perspective by adding more layers, like compassion and knowledge, to our vision, which this book, ‘The Actor’s Life – A Survival Guide’, has definitely done for me.

I chanced upon this book, not because I have any talent to be an actor, but right after I had finished The Office (extremely late in life, I know) and began appreciating Jenna Fischer who plays Pam on the show. I started listening to ‘The Office Ladies’, a podcast based on The Office by Fischer and fellow actor Angela Kinsey who plays Angela on the show (love her character, as well) where I learnt about this book written by Fischer. I looked it up online out of curiosity and thought of giving it a try since it seemed like a light-hearted read and my brain, which was at a ‘readers’ block’ really needed a nudge. Also, I was curious about The Office trivia (one cannot get enough of it) and Hollywood.

When I began reading it, I got what I had expected – a light-hearted read. As I flipped through the chapters, I got hooked. It was simply amazing, literally, it was simple and amazing.

Being someone who seriously the self-proclaimed ‘self-help books’, I can vouch, ‘The Actor’s Life’ is a book which will help everyone, not just actors, and the best part is that it does it with subtlety. The book is actually what the title claims – A practical guide to direct and motivate aspiring actors in the USA. However, if you read carefully, it is so much more.

In the book, Fischer talks about her experiences about when she decided to become an actor. She narrates her ordeals and triumphs after she arrived at Los Angeles, how she got her big break as Pam after six years of struggle. Mind you, it is not only about the struggling and fretting. Jenna talks about the life experiences and processes an actor has to go through at LA, meanwhile, giving tips and hacks about important things such as getting a cover-shot, an agent, etc. It also talks about career options for actors based in Chicago and New York. She mentions back stories of other actors, how many of them got a break after ten years of struggle or even more.

The book has many lessons for aspiring actors which could apply to everyone.

One of the great lessons is that one can be highly talented but that alone will gain no fruit if one does not adapt to the circumstances they are in.

For example, you might be a great actor after a week of practice but auditions at Hollywood only give a few minutes to practice before the screening process and you have to grasp the opportunity.

Another piece of golden advice is that one should keep learning.

Even after you might have graduated from a top institute, you have to learn new things if your profession demands it and there is no shame in taking classes again or honing a skill.

The best lesson from the book is that for many people, success is not linear. It is not as if one gets a big hit and then it is ‘happily ever after’.

Some actors narrated how after a big-hit, they did not get any substantial role for thirty years. Although Jenna’s narrative is about the profession of acting, it was very inspirational for me as we need to learn and grow in every profession and not just give up on our dreams, whatever they might be.

The book also taught me that we should not make our career the sole source of contentment.

Instead, we should have something outside of it such as volunteering, taking up a hobby or anything which does not hinder our dream but helps us relax and be creative. The book also talks about a lot of other actors who have created their own work, who write, direct, design costumes and do many more things than just act. It really made me think about my career from another perspective and how I can also do a lot of things and expand my horizon.

The book taught be to be kind to one’s fellow colleagues and others in the same profession. We do not need to be “rivals” and disparage each other to succeed. Kindness begets kindness. Jealousy and sabotage  helps no one. So next time if you see someone succeed “more” than you, go and talk to them. Befriend them and learn from them. You might never know what great things you can achieve in the long run.

The book enhanced my perspective about the profession of acting as a whole and instilled a lot of respect for actors, be it movies, television series, web series, theater…..anything.

I have started noticing actors in guest roles, small supporting roles and even extras, which I never did earlier. I started looking up their names and could not help but wonder about the career trajectory of all of them whenever I see them on screen. I have even started to read more about the lead actors and how they have risen to their position. I am currently in awe of Dan Levy who writes, produces, directs, designs costumes and acts in the hilarious show ‘Schitt’s Creek’. I also got reminded of the movie ‘Kamyaab’ starring Sanjay Mishra and how every role is valuable.

The most important lesson that the book taught me is that one does not have to be at the top to be successful.

Just like one does not have to be an Academy award winning actor to be a successful working actor, one does not have to be a CEO or at the top of the hierarchy to be successful in any profession.

The only thing that matters is that you get to do what you want to do and that makes you feel good.