Shitposting

Yes. This post is what it says. It is a shit post and this is I, a shit poster, who is shit posting on my own blog because why not. Well all my other posts can be categorized as shit posts too, which I did feel when I read them recently. I literally cringed at my own posts, which I wrote just a few months ago. I am sure I am gonna cringe at this post too, but who cares. Well, I do but anyways.

I realized today for the nth time that my writing skills have just become too shitty. It takes me hours to come up with good original formal sentences, there is no flair and I just prefer copy pasting rather than writing anything original. Maybe it’s fear or maybe I am just fucking stupid, I have no clue. So I thought of writing my blog again cause I haven’t written anything in such a long time. Will this random writing help me improve my game? I have no clue. However, (I didn’t use but here. hah!) I love to rant anyways and people won’t listen to me if I say it to them, so why not write it. Will I love it if someone reviews my writing and encourages me more? Obviously. Will I be heart broken if they ask for too many changes? Definitely.

Wow! I am at a loss now as to what to write. I am so damn confused all the time about everything. I really need to work on myself. Will I post about it? Well, I want to….but I am also afraid cause it’s too personal. I know anyone will hardly read it, but if I do become famous one day, everyone will know about my depressies :P. Man! that was mean, even for me. What is wrong with me? A lot of trauma! How to make it right? Lots of therapy and self work, which I am trying but it does take a lot of time and mental energy. Sometimes I feel that maybe I am doomed for life, but if I was, I wouldn’t have got the help I needed and chances to improve and make my life better.

“Suffering has a reason” and I do believe in that. I am in no way romanticizing suffering of people due to poverty, sickness or mental health issues or anything else. It’s not fair. However, I am just trying to make sense of my own suffering because I am trying to improve and change my situation here, using all the privilege I have because I am lucky that way and I am thankful for that. I just realised that I write very long sentences. Will try to improve on that front too.

I hope to sleep properly today as I have been having very disturbed sleep since days. Hope to write again soon.

P.S. I ate some cheese today and I am lactose intolerant. I am already very gassy and I might die of diarrhea tonight. So I will see you if I don’t.

#3 Pyaaz Bytes- Zindagi….Gulzaar Hai……

Zindagiiii…….Gulzaar hai…..Ye Ishq kaaaaa…..Darbaar haiii………..

No, I have not become crazy or optimistic (what’s the difference :P).

I recently started watching the show “Zindagi Gulzaar Hai” on Netflix and I am obsessed.

It is a Pakistani show from the year 2012. I remember how, during graduation, my batchmates used to love the show and swoon over the male protagonist ,Zarun, all day, played by none other than the very handsome Fawad Khan.

I used to make fun of them for watching a “soap opera” and that too Pakistani. Yes, I used to be that kind of a jerk, though I have understood my mistakes and have changed a lot.

I got interested in watching the show after reading about it on Instagram. An amazing page called Gangs of Cinepur posted her perspective about the show. It made me intrigued to watch the show as the show revolves around feminism.

I know that I sound ignorant, but I was surprised to see that girls dressed in western clothes is common in Pakistan. In fact, their treatment of women is very similar to that in India. Girls are allowed freedom in some families and treated as burden in many, just like it is here. This is why intermingling of people from different cultures is important to extinguish the “Us vs Them” complex and bring harmony.

So far, I have watched 12 episodes and I am hooked. I like that the show is gradually revealing the background of each of the main characters, which gives them depth. They are showed as grey characters and not as completely saintly or utmost evil, which is the case with most soap operas.

The character of the female protagonist, Kashaf, seemed very irritating in the beginning as she was constantly cribbing and complaining and seeing negative in everything. She never counted her blessings of having such a loving mother and sisters, and being so intelligent. Her family asked her to be positive and count her blessings all the time, specially the lovely Sidra.  However, I now realize that she never appreciated herself or her life because she never received validation from her father. Her father had always treated girl children as a burden and never appreciated her, which might have created a complex in her. Yes, daddy issues are very real and not entirely sexual 😛

 The best part is that the show has only 36 episodes and have not been dragged for decades, as the soap operas in India. I am really grateful for OTTs for some amazing Indian shows.

An irritating part of the show are the pathetic supporting actors, for example Kashaf’s friend Maria. The acting of almost all of the supporting cast at the University is bad. There is no depth to Kashaf’s and Maria’s friendship. Kashaf is rude to her most of the time and seems to talk to her as a formality, while poor Maria keeps calling her a close friend and running after her. It made me feel as if Maria has inferiority complex or is just too lonely.

The title track of the show keeps repeating in my head and I am just unable to stop it. I will write more on the show in the coming days.

Here’s to 599 words of Day 3 of writing. Cheers!

P.S. I hope no one reports me as an anti-national for discussing a Pakistani show and Fawad Khan here. I do not really want to go to jail. If anyone has thought about reporting me, chill the hell out.

#2 Pyaaz Bytes : Mundane Stuff

Hello Scrollers,

Here I am, adhering to my commitment of writing 200 words a day. It is only the second day and I was procrastinating as I had nothing to write. Yet, I have decided to complete the bare minimum and keep up with my self-promise.

I was just checking out any other blogging websites which might be better than WordPress as I am not loving the overall look of the blog. Then I found that the best and most user-friendly website is WordPress. Wow. I will check the settings and see what I can tweak the look in the free version.

I could not exercise today as my left shoulder is aching since 2 days. I just did the neck movements and decided to give my shoulder a rest. I did take painkillers as the pain was killing me. I hope it heals soon so that I can start my exercise.

I am also thinking about joining a gym as my pants from 2 months ago are not fitting me anymore. But it might be unsafe during pandemic. I just do not want to be the reason for making my family sick of the virus, they are already sick of me.

I tried to wake up early in the morning today but could not because I slept very late. I hope to sleep earlier than usual tonight and wake up early tomorrow. It’s one of the most difficult tasks for me as I simply lying on the bed makes me feel very restless. In the morning, I feel so tired that I let myself believe that if I wake up early then I would feel tired all day. However, I have to try everyday to achieve it and I will.

I did practice keyboard. My Sir had sent me notes of “Tum Hi Ho” from Aashiqui 2, which is a beautiful song. I am able to play effortlessly with the right hand but unable to play the chords. I need a lot more practice. Practice is the key here. My mind keeps telling me to quit the chords as it is very difficult for me.

“When the going gets tough, I get going”.

I always want to find a way out of any discomfort. It is my habit. I quit too easy on a lot of things since childhood. It is a pattern in me. Still, I am convincing it to not give up so easily as I have not practiced much.I do feel bad that I cancelled the class today but the sprain was making it difficult to play. Also, to be honest, I had only practiced today and was not able to play properly. I will definitely join the next class.

My reading of 10 pages is still left. Along with my skin care, which I will do after posting this.

I managed to write 488 words. Yay!

Here’s to a good Day Two. Cheers!

Book Musing (My Feminist Perspective)- Sita:Warrior of Mithila by Amish

What comes to your mind when you hear the name Sita?

Ram’s wife who got kidnapped by Raavan? Or the name you always used in school while making up sentences and stories which had a girl in it?

Fortunately, Amish’s book highlights much more about the mythological character, who is usually epitomized as the “perfect wife”.

While reading a book or watching a movie or a show, I have a habit of paying close attention towards the portrayal of women in them. Most of the times, it reflects the condition of women in that period, and sometimes, the creator attempts to propagate their idea of it.

The male and female are like the two wings of a bird and when both wings are reinforced with the same impulse, the bird of humanity will be enabled to soar heaven-ward to the summit of progress.

 – Abdu’l-Baha, Divine Philosophy, p. 82.

I would like to believe that Amish is attempting to propagate the above philosophy, among many others, through his book Sita: The Warrior of Mithila. It is the second book of the Ram Chandra Series, published by  Westland Publications in 2017.

The current book narrates the life of Sita, an individual, a princess, a Prime Minister and a Vishnu. She is as capable as Ram, who is in awe of her because of her qualities, and they get married for love.

I highly appreciate the reflection of feminism in the book. Ram and Sita, and also the other characters, believe that they can be equal partners. They believe that they together can inspire the nation and bring back its glory. Both man and woman, can together, be the Vishnu.

Women are not mere props in the book and they are not discriminated against, almost anywhere. If they are capable, they are allowed to rule. Other major female characters such as Sita’s mother, Sunaina, the slum dweller, Samichi and also Sita’s friend, Radhika, the trader  Manthara,  are shown as individuals who are not discriminated against because of their gender and are at good positions in the administration. Even Urmila, Sita’s sister, who is shown as a delicate girl, chooses to live as a housewife. It was not forced upon her.

The beauty about feminism is that it is not about glorification of women and bashing of men. It is about treating both the genders equally and giving equal rights and freedom to both.

This book, quite ingeniously, displays the philosophy. The male characters in the book are not belittled or used as props. They are shown as equally efficient and possess freedom of choice, for example,  King Janak chooses to pay more attention to philosophy rather than administration.

Also, the first book of the series, “Ram- The Scion of Ikshvaku” narrated the early life of the Ayodhya prince in a similar, brilliant manner.

Another part of the story which got etched in my mind is the conversation between Bharat and Sita, wherein they discuss the Masculine way of life and the Feminine way of life. The words are not related to gender but different ideologies. Here, Sita talks in favour of the Masculine way of life, which has rigid rules and there is more certainty.

On the other hand, Bharat supports the Feminine way of life, in which there is an underlying belief that people are capable of finding a balance on their own. There are rules, but people possess freedom to choose and also change them, and this freedom helps them find a balance. (Reading the book will help you get a better understanding).

The book, efficiently, represents many opposing views, ideas and philosophies, and shows how people think and choose,  and what can be their consequences.

After reading this page-turner, I am eagerly waiting for the third book of the series- Raavan: Orphan of Aryavarta,  and how all the incidents of the three books will culminate in the untitled fourth book.

The best part about Amish’s books is the realistic touch he gives to mythological characters, who are supposed to possess supernatural powers, due to which they are revered as Gods. Amish taught me that anyone can become great due to their abilities, Karma and a belief in themselves. His books made me believe in myself.

Will return with more musings soon. Till then, don’t cry over dead onions.

Adieu.

P.S. None of my write-ups are paid. I am not that popular,yet. 😛

Book Musings #1: Chandni Begum

He who should search for the pearls must dive below. Hence, I dived into the book and struck gold.

Although we know many realities, we acknowledge only the most convenient one.

Although we think several thoughts, we acknowledge the only the socially acceptable ones. This reality is portrayed brilliantly in the Jnanpith Award-winning book “Chandni Begum” by Qurratullain Hyder.

“Chandni Begum”, written by Qurratulain Hyder, was originally published in Urdu in 1989. The translated version by Saleem Kidwai was published by Women Unlimited in 2017.

The tale closes in on the lives and struggles of Qambar, Bela, Safia and Chandni Begum, and several people related to them, transcending through decades, ranging from the partition towards the end of the twentieth century. Several themes such as the impact of partition, struggles of aristocracy, the growing poverty of artists, the romantic revolutionaries, Marxism, conditions of women, the Tinsel town, the Colonial hangover, Mandir-Majid riots, and death, are presented beautifully in this 340 pages deep gold mine, offering a riveting tale of the turmoil in the country and among the people’s minds and hearts.

 Social psychology across decades is portrayed so magically in the story, I could not help but muse. The actions and reactions of all kinds of people- rich, poor, dying, vicious, saintly, politicians and so many others,  which is still relevant, and I guess, will always be.

How our thoughts about the “What ifs” of life can lead us to our own death. How the “socialists”, who persevere to build a class-less society comment about “low-class”  people achieving high status. How we think that we are liberal and modern, but our speech and actions, due to decades of conditioning, display otherwise. How the Us vs Them thinking pattern is ruining the world. How rumors lead to riots and how our magic sky people are actually ruling our minds and turning us into beasts. How things change and the ones who are unable to change successfully with time wither away. How only the victorious are celebrated and everything else is forgotten. Ironically (or maybe not) I had picked up this book from the book-fair as “Winner of the Jnanpith Award, 1989” printed on the cover assured my mind that it must be good. The display of the frailty of human mind, at its best.

Although slow paced, it becomes exciting at times and takes unexpected twists and turns, which might make the reader wonder if anything else is left to continue the story, but it does continue, threading every part beautifully like a pearl necklace.

I would highly recommend people to read this book if you are looking for an adventurous and contemporary non-fictitious fiction.

Will be back with another review soon. Adieu.

P.S. Check out the few thought provoking excerpts from the book.

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