#6 Pyaaz Bytes: Wives, Anxiety, etc.

Hello Scrollers,

This is one of those days, which are very frequent in my case, when I do not “feel like doing anything.”

I struggled to get out of bed in the morning, even though I was awake. I finally woke up at 8:45 am , which was one and a half hour later than my expected timing.

I did exercise. I tried light Zumba tutorial on Youtube and danced for 15 minutes, along with stretching. I practiced my piano in the evening, though I got disturbed by a guest. Honestly, I was unable to play properly as I am finding western music difficult, which is dissuading me from practicing. I also want to enjoy playing and that is not happening now, which is making me upset. Yet, I feel that I need to learn to play well, and that will require practice. Ugh!! Why is life like this…..

I also worked today. I had a chat with an important person working on watershed. I do not know if it nervousness or the fact that I had not eaten properly since morning, but my body was a little shaky while talking to him. I was feeling very anxious. I have noticed that I feel anxiety sometimes when my blood sugar level is low. It might be a mix of both, I do not know.

I am feeling quite low today. I have various things on my mind. I am afraid of breaking my self promises. I am forcing myself a lot to keep up with them and this is only the 5^th day. I do not know what to do. I am also PMSing, so that is also there. But it’s not that these things do not happen to me at other times. They do. I have my phases in a cyclical manner the entire month, but I am unable to predict them.

I watched Zindagi Gulzar Hai today also. I am finding it funny but also boring as the scenes are very dragged. Yet I do not feel like watching anything else. *sobs*

I finished watching the “Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives”. Yes, I watch these shit shows because FOMO. I think these types of shows are made for us to watch, cringe, explode on twitter and also feel a little jealous of the inequality.

I had the same expectation from the show as I had with Indian Matchmaking, but I was disappointed as this show was worse. I mean, it was badly scripted and way too fake. People in India do not recognize Neelam Kothari anymore, I do not understand how a person in Doha recognized and stalked her. Lol. It was very bad. At least Indian Matchmaking had some realistic characters. This show had none. Everybody was acting and that too very badly as this show comprised of bad out of work actors. Sometimes I feel that Kekda Ranaut was right about Karan Johar.

I was just thinking that I need to get over my phone and Instagram addiction, and I began scrolling Instagram. I want to cry.

This post feels like the worst post until now. I hate it.

Here’s to 528 words of a shitty Day 6. Cheers!

#3 Pyaaz Bytes- Zindagi….Gulzaar Hai……

Zindagiiii…….Gulzaar hai…..Ye Ishq kaaaaa…..Darbaar haiii………..

No, I have not become crazy or optimistic (what’s the difference :P).

I recently started watching the show “Zindagi Gulzaar Hai” on Netflix and I am obsessed.

It is a Pakistani show from the year 2012. I remember how, during graduation, my batchmates used to love the show and swoon over the male protagonist ,Zarun, all day, played by none other than the very handsome Fawad Khan.

I used to make fun of them for watching a “soap opera” and that too Pakistani. Yes, I used to be that kind of a jerk, though I have understood my mistakes and have changed a lot.

I got interested in watching the show after reading about it on Instagram. An amazing page called Gangs of Cinepur posted her perspective about the show. It made me intrigued to watch the show as the show revolves around feminism.

I know that I sound ignorant, but I was surprised to see that girls dressed in western clothes is common in Pakistan. In fact, their treatment of women is very similar to that in India. Girls are allowed freedom in some families and treated as burden in many, just like it is here. This is why intermingling of people from different cultures is important to extinguish the “Us vs Them” complex and bring harmony.

So far, I have watched 12 episodes and I am hooked. I like that the show is gradually revealing the background of each of the main characters, which gives them depth. They are showed as grey characters and not as completely saintly or utmost evil, which is the case with most soap operas.

The character of the female protagonist, Kashaf, seemed very irritating in the beginning as she was constantly cribbing and complaining and seeing negative in everything. She never counted her blessings of having such a loving mother and sisters, and being so intelligent. Her family asked her to be positive and count her blessings all the time, specially the lovely Sidra.  However, I now realize that she never appreciated herself or her life because she never received validation from her father. Her father had always treated girl children as a burden and never appreciated her, which might have created a complex in her. Yes, daddy issues are very real and not entirely sexual 😛

 The best part is that the show has only 36 episodes and have not been dragged for decades, as the soap operas in India. I am really grateful for OTTs for some amazing Indian shows.

An irritating part of the show are the pathetic supporting actors, for example Kashaf’s friend Maria. The acting of almost all of the supporting cast at the University is bad. There is no depth to Kashaf’s and Maria’s friendship. Kashaf is rude to her most of the time and seems to talk to her as a formality, while poor Maria keeps calling her a close friend and running after her. It made me feel as if Maria has inferiority complex or is just too lonely.

The title track of the show keeps repeating in my head and I am just unable to stop it. I will write more on the show in the coming days.

Here’s to 599 words of Day 3 of writing. Cheers!

P.S. I hope no one reports me as an anti-national for discussing a Pakistani show and Fawad Khan here. I do not really want to go to jail. If anyone has thought about reporting me, chill the hell out.